is the equivalent of the human central nervous system?
- That was my intention, yes. - Okay.
Well, you gotta realize that a nervous system is going to...
radically enhance the way that you feel and perceive the world around you.
I'm not just talking about hot and cold and little tiny pinpricks.
Put it this way:
As your experience becomes varied,
so will the feelings, emotions, sensations...
stimulated by that experience.
And while some of these will be very subtle...
and wonderful and nuanced and shaded,
others will be profoundly intense and difficult to tolerate.
Do you feel like you're ready for that?
Absolutely.
- Lovely. - Thank you.
I was referring to the statue.
I know.
Could you fix this piece of shit?
I don't know. Let me take a look.
- Andrew, I'm sure you could restore this yourself. - Yes, I could.
But you could do it much better.
Well, I'd be happy to fix it for you.
- If it's not too much effort. - No, not at all.
I've been working all day, and I could really use some air. Do you wanna go for a walk?
Oh, that would be quite splendid. Yes.
- Why are you laughing at me?
You're just- You're always so polite and so proper.
- It's very sweet. - Thank you.
Let's go.
Thank you.
When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart
It's because I'm presumin' that I could be kinda human
If I only had a heart
- Picture me - Do you have an impact drill?
- Uh, yeah, over on the rack. - Thank you.
-Jesus!
There's a party next week...
to celebrate the opening of the building that I restored,
and all my friends will be there,
and it would be great if you could come.
I would love to. Thank you.
I think you're letting me win.
Checkmate.
I love all
The many charms
About you
Above all
I want my arms
About you
Don't Don't be
A naughty, naughty baby
Come to Mama
Come to Mama, do
My sweet
Embraceable
You
Charles, why don't you go get us a drink?
Sure.
- Thank you. Thank you.
The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The simple ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm living in
A kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish
Though it may seem
To me you're everything
The mere idea of you
Though I'm here for you
You'll never know
How slow the moments go
Till I'm near you
- I never understood the phrase "pearls before swans."
- What? - Swine.
Oh? Then the ballet is not Swine Lake?
Oh, God, nobody makes me laugh like you.
Laughter is essential for a good friendship.
Yes, it is.
Sometimes I get the feeling that...
you feel a certain way about us...
and... that you...
wish or-
- What?
I don't know. It's just a little-
Having this conversation with-
- A robot? - Yes.
I-I mean, a thing is itself, Andrew.
A tree is a tree, water is water. You...
are a magnificent machine.
But no matter how much you change, that's what you'll always be.
No, I can't believe that, will not believe that.
I realize I'm not entirely human.
That's why people don't always like or understand me.
- I like you. - You do?
I even understand you... some of the time.
But I-
I can't invest my emotions in a machine.
Must be a genetic trait.
Things change, Portia.
Things always change.
She laughed at me.
"A thing is itself, Andrew. Water is water."
What about ice? What about steam, hmm?
Andy, you gotta calm down, okay?
Do you know what it's like to be laughed at?
Humiliating. It's an abomination.
Look at me. Look what I'm doing here.
I am trying to make something of myself.
I am trying to fulfill my destiny. Does she notice?
- Andrew? - Yes?
I don't want you to take this personally, but I have to work now.
- Good night. - Good ni-
Where've you been? I've been trying to call you.
- Poke me in the eye. Poke me in the eye, Portia. - What?
- You're crazy. - Poke me in the eye!
Ow! Ow!
That hurts. Ow.
- It works. - What the hell is going on?
It's my neural net. I am the proud owner of a central nervous system.
- You can feel. - Oh, yes, very much.
Will you do something for me?
- Will you perform an experiment just for the sake of science? - All right.
Kiss me.
No, not there. Here.
Thank you.
Could you feel it?
It's wonderful.
It's everything they say it is.
And you?
Portia, what's wrong?
Charles and I are getting married.
He's a lucky man.
Congratulations to the both of you.
Goddamn it, Andrew.
- If you're gonna succeed at this thing- - What thing?
This thing you're trying to do- you've got to stop being so damn deferential.
- I can't help being deferential. It's built in. - Then change.
Change? I have changed.
I don't mean on the outside. Change on the inside.
- Take chances, make mistakes. - Mistakes?
Yes! Sometimes it's important not to be perfect, okay?
- It's important to do the wrong thing. - Do the wrong thing?
- Yes! - Why? Oh, I see- to learn from your mistakes.
No, to make them.
To find out what's real and what's not. To find out what you feel.
Human beings are terrible messes, Andrew.
I'll grant you that. I see.
This is what is known as an irrational conversation, isn't it?
No, this is a human conversation.
It's not about being rational. It's about following your heart.
- And that's what I should do? - Yes.
And you have a heart, Andrew. You do.
I feel it. I don't even believe it sometimes, but I do feel it.
And in order to follow that heart,
one must do the wrong thing.
Yes.
Thank you.
Galatea, Could you be a little more careful? That's very delicate equipment.
- Sorry.
- What are you doing? - Near as I can tell, your bitch work.
My what?
Oh, you heard me, and I'm sick of it!
All day long it's, "Yes, Rupert, sir," " No, Rupert, sir."
"Would you like another beverage, Rupert, sir?"
And it chaps my ass!
So here's a helpful hint for you:
Shut up, and let me do my work!
- No, no.
I'm done.
"Chaps my ass"?
- Give me back the chip. Where's the chip? - I replaced it.
Andrew, she's uncooperative, she's abusive, she's confrontational-
And a lot more interesting, don't you think?
Arguably, but we're not getting any work done, Andrew.
Please, please, give me the old personality chip back.
Fine. She can be perky again.
Perky? She's just a ro- I didn't mean it that way.
Andrew? Andrew! I really didn't mean that.
What's the matter with you today? Andrew, where you going?
Hey, Jamie, come over here. I want you to meet Charles.
- Charles, my aunt Jamie. - Hi, nice to meet you.
- This is Ryan. - Hey, Ryan.
This is Michael.
The boys are great.
- Rupert! - What's going on?
What's going on? Portia's parents are throwing an engagement party...
- that I wasn't invited to for obvious reasons. - Yeah.
- There he is. - Who?
- The prospective groom. - Where?
Where? The one in the pale blue suit with the big pointy chin.
- He's got a pointy chin? - Pointy chin? You could put an eye out with that chin.
Yeah, that's nothing compared to his teeth. Look at that.
I'm amazed he's out in daylight.
He's got funny teeth, huh?
You need to upgrade your eyes.
That shouldn't stop Portia. She can marry who ever she likes.
It's just that one day she's gonna wake up next to him and realize...
that she is married to a man whose face closely resembles an antique can opener.
You know? The kind that used to go-
You know? The ones that move around and can pops off.
- You're jealous. You are jealous. - No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
You are. Otherwise what are you doing sneaking around here, spying on Portia, huh?
My God, I am jealous.
If I'm jealous, that means I'm in love.
Hi! Oh, thanks for coming.
If I'm in love, then all hope is gone.
I've lost her.
Andrew. Andrew!
Andy, would you like a sip of my beer?
It would be a waste. I could not taste it.
- What if you could? - It would be exquisite.
I've come up with a design- a modification, rather-
that, if I'm correct,
would enable you to deal with solid foods and liquids.
- And taste? - Taste too.
And also,
if my schematics are correct,
I think I've come up with a method...
to make you...
a complete man.
Complete?
Complete.
Complete?
Not in a reproductive sense, of course,
but in terms of approximating...
the physical sensation,
you know, that occurs-
friction-
- Sexual relations. - Yeah.
Oh, I've always been fascinated by that.
Well, I mean, curious...
because-
- Well, because of what they say. - What do they say?
That you can lose yourself-
everything, all boundaries, all time-
the two bodies can become so mixed up...
that you don't know who's who or what's what.
And just when the sweet confusion is so intense you think you're gonna die,
you kind of do,
leaving you alone in your separate body.
But the one you love is still there.
That's a miracle.
You can go to heaven and come back alive.
You can go back anytime you want-
with the one you love.
- And you want to experience that? - Oh, yes, please.
So do I.
We'll have to hire more people. Maybe two more weeks.
Andrew.
- Excuse me. I'll be right back. - Sure.
- I didn't expect to see you.
I remember this place very well.
This is where your grandmother was married.
Yeah, I wanted it ready for my own wedding.
So, you're not married yet?
No, two weeks from Saturday.
I'm not too late.
Are you absolutely positive you're doing the right thing?
- Positive? - About getting married?
- I'm never absolutely positive. - So you could be doing the wrong thing.
- No, I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing. - Great.
- Why is that great? - In your apartment, you told me to do the wrong thing.
Now, you are not doing the wrong thing. You're doing the right thing.
It's safe to say you're not following your own advice, 'cause if you were,
you would definitely not be marrying this man, Charles.
- Because I would be doing the right thing. - Precisely.
In some strange way, you're starting to make sense.
Good. Do you have any idea what it's like to be in love with someone...
who's about to marry someone else?
Someone totally magnificent, someone who walks into a room and lights it up like the sun?
Someone who you know is lying to herself?
- Lying? - Convincingly, yeah. Very, very much so.
- About what? - That you don't love me,
when I know at least in some way you do.
- And how do you know that? - Portia,
I have done everything inside and out.
- But that stuff doesn't matter to me. - Well, something matters,
'cause I'd have to believe if nothing mattered, you'd love me...
and not some man whose chin could sink the Titanic.
- What? See? It's true, isn't it?
I'm sorry. Does he light you up like this? Does he make you laugh?
Nobody makes me laugh like this.
Good. Then admit it. Admit that you love me.
- Give me one kiss. - Oh, God.
That's all. One quick kiss. Just one kiss...
could not jeopardize a glorious marriage.
Besides, it would also explain to me why your pulse jumped from 66 to 102 beats per minute.
Your respiration rate has doubled. You're putting out clouds of pheromones.
- It's not fair to read me like that. - I know. Love isn't fair.
I'm reading your heart. I'm asking you to follow it- begging you.
Begging is supposed to be humiliating. I don't care.
I love you, Portia. I loved you the very first moment I saw you.
- I thought you said a quick kiss. - I lied.
How do you feel?
- Wonderful. - So do I.
I guess that's the point.
- What was that? - That's your stomach growling. You're hungry.
- Was that me? - Yes.
- I thought it was you. - No, it wasn't me.
Really? Ooh. Do you do that?
Sometimes. Quieter than that.
- Ah. I'll have to have Rupert make me a muffler.
Mm-hmm.
It's wonderful. It's wonderful- the taste and the texture both.
You know, it's marvelous.
I know this will be my fourth helping, but may I please have some more?
Pig- very smart animal. Obviously not that smart if it ends up as bacon.
I feel like I'm eating my way through the entire food chain.
Thank you.
What?
What's wrong?
If we're together- you and me-
we'll never be accepted.
Because I'm not human.
That will not do.
I will have to get started.
Started with what?
The next step. I love you.
Wish me luck.
Andrew Martin, step forward, please.
So, Mr. Martin, you would like us to pass a bill...
declaring you a human being.
Yes, specifically the ability to marry...
-a fellow human being. - I see.
We have to face the undeniable fact...
that no matter how much you may be like a human being,
you are not part of the human gene pool.
You are outside of it entirely. You are something else,
something artificial.
Sir, what about all the real people wading in the gene pool...
who have bodies full of prosthetic devices, many of which I have invented.
You yourself, sir, have one of my kidneys, do you not?
Are you not in some way artificial, at least in part?
In part, yes.
Well, then, I'm human in part.
Which part, Andrew?
This one, sir.
I see. And here?
It is true I am still equipped with a positronic brain.
And because of that positronic brain,
you are, for all accounts, immortal.
Yes, sir.
Well, Andrew, society can tolerate an immortal robot,
but we will never tolerate an immortal human.
It arouses too much jealousy,
too much anger.
I'm sorry, Andrew. This court cannot and will not validate your humanity.
I hereby bring an end to these proceedings.
It is the decision of this court...
that Andrew Martin from this day forward...
will continue to be declared a robot-
a mechanical machine, nothing more.
One is glad to be of service.
Andrew, I have to tell you...
I'm beginning to feel not so sure.
- About us? - No.
- Next week will be my 75th birthday. - I know, and you look 50.
- Thank you. - A spectacular 50.
- But I don't feel 50. - Your body does.
Last night was amazing. What was that called again?
- Shut up and listen to me. - Sorry.
- And don't give me that look. I'm not ordering you around. - Whatever you say.
- Please don't be agreeable. - I'm not being agreeable. I can be if you want.
Oh, goddamn it, Andrew, I'm trying to tell you something important here.
I'm not going to live forever.
Yes, you will. That's why I invented-
No, no, I won't always take your D.N.A. elixirs.
I won't have all my organs replaced.
Eventually I'm going to wear out.
- And I want to. - Why would you want to leave?
There's an... order to things.
Human beings are meant to be here for a certain time and then pass on.
That's what's right.
I see.
- There's just one problem, Portia. - What?
I couldn't stand to live without you.
Andrew, people grow through time,
but then, of course, for you time is a completely different proposition.
For you, time is endless.
There's only one thing to do.
Galatea, my dear, where are we?
The transfusion is almost complete.
Is that so?
Just goes to show you, Andrew,
somebody becomes a human being,
sooner or later, they do something monumentally stupid.
You've been a great example, Rupert.
How quickly will the blood degrade my system?
Oh, I don't know.
You exercise, eat right, I'd say 30, 40 years.
That's a little vague, chief.
You don't know exactly how long I'll last?
Sorry.
Welcome to the human condition.
Andrew Martin-
I have always tried to make sense of things.
There must be some reason I am as I am.
As you can see, Madam Chairman,
I am no longer immortal.
You have arranged to die?
In a sense, I have.
I am growing old, and my body is deteriorating,
and, like all of you,
it will eventually cease to function.
As a robot, I could've lived forever.
But I tell you all today,
I would rather die a man...
than live for all eternity as a machine.
Why do you want this?
To be acknowledged...
for who and what I am-
no more, no less.
Not for acclaim, not for approval.
The simple truth of that recognition-
this has been the elemental drive of my existence,
and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die...
with dignity.
Mr. Martin,
what you are asking for is...
extremely complex and controversial.
It will not be an easy decision.
I must ask for your patience...
while I take the necessary time to make a determination...
of this extremely delicate matter.
I await your decision, Madam Chairman.
Thank you for your patience.
We tried.
Is it almost time?
In a few minutes.
It doesn't matter what the World Congress says.
Why do you need their approval?
Old habit.
I started my existence as a robot.
I still like to be told certain things.
It's time.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Marjorie Bota,
President of the World Congress.
According to records of the North Am Robotics Company,
the robot, also known as Andrew Martin,
was powered up at 5:15 p.m., on April 3, 2005.
In a few hours, he will be 200 years old,
which means that, with the exception of Methuselah and other biblical figures,
Andrew is the oldest living human being in recorded history.
For it is by this proclamation...
that I validate his marriage to Portia Charney...
and acknowledge his humanity.
Andrew?
I'm sorry he didn't see it.
Maybe he didn't need to.
Could you do me a favor?
Would you mind unplugging me?
That's an order.
Thank you, Galatea.
As the great Andrew Martin used to say,
"One is glad to be of service."
I'll see you soon.
Laugh and cry
Live and die
Life is a dream
We all dream it
Day by day
I find my way
Look for the soul
And the meaning
Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore
People run
Sun to sun
Caught in their lives
Ever flowing
One sweet dawn
Life goes till it's gone
We have to go
Where it's going
Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost
Anymore
And you say you see
When you look at me
The reason you love life so
Though lost I have been
I find love again
And life just keeps on running
You look at me
And life holds love for
You
For
You